The following video was recorded prior to the heavily-favored Indianapolis Colts' 23-17 overtime loss to the San Diego Chargers on Saturday.  After watching the following video, you'll have no idea how such an injustice could occur.

As you cue up the video, you'll think that you're catching the tail end of some semi-ordinary fan chatter. But trust me, there's more.  Plenty more.

Watch, and listen, carefully as this maestro of the buffet tailgate organizes and orchestrates an eloquent toast that contains seamless rhymes and sexual epithets.



The only thing more pathetic than the grown man wearing a wig and eye black are the deadbeats scurrying around in the background who are dying to be a part of this moment of tailgating brilliance.

To be fair, we're not sure if Tom Brady swallows or not...but we're thinking that since his name didn't rhyme with any of the beautifully-crafted preceding lines, they should've focused their attention at one of the upcoming foes - like Philip Rivers, who definitely does swallow.