Foreign policy guru Mr. Fuji laughs it up with president-elect Obama and friends on a flight earlier this week. Sources say the Fujster and Obama's top advisor David Axelrod got into a heated exchange, likely resulting from one too many sake bombs, causing renowned pilot Fred Blassie to make an emergency landing.

***



Obsessed with his captaincy and bored as hell, Jason Varitek takes over as Captain Mauser for a day at one of the most challenging yet rewarding precincts in the district.

***



Darko Milicic seen here officially losing his shit at President Bush's annual "Dunk My Strategery AND1" clinic.

***


Notorious Miami Beach can-hounds, Jeff and Stan Van Gundy spotted carousing yet again, this time crashing an exclusive Victoria's Secret beach shoot with Gisele Bündchen. Jeff and Stan both reportedly pretended to drown multiple times throughout the weekend for the sole purpose of being rescued by, as they put it, "boob preservers."

***



ESPN football analyst Ron Jaworski disobeys himself and finally stops watching game film for the first time in six years. He celebrated the wild feeling by riding this mediocre rollercoaster with a family from Wisconsin before spotting the Hernia paparazzi.

PAST HERNIA GOODNESS AS SEEN ON JOESPORTSFAN

BOOKMARK 'EM