JoeSportsFan

[As we recover from the 200 comment softball extravaganza article from Monday, enjoy a column that originally ran on JSF this past October.  We'll be back with new material this afternoon]

The Hit Man Black & Blue. Bash Brothers.  Land of Boz.

Poster-BozThe names of the classic 80's sports posters pretty much stand on their own even decades after they first came out.  Most sports fans from the era can distinctly remember the ridiculous gimmick posters that adorned bedroom walls from coast to coast, if for no other reason than because they serve as indisputable proof that professional athletes at that time had no issues dressing up like complete clowns for a little publicity.

You need me to dress up like Freddy Krueger for a "Nightmare" poster?  No problem. Want me to act like a robot next to a sign that says "See Dick Run"?  Just tell me when and where.

Most of the credit for the memorable posters of the 80's goes to a company called Costacos Brothers which produced the large majority of these masterpieces. Contrary to what may be common perception, they didn't simply stop making them once it became uncool to sell giant pictures of players holding toy uzis to hang on kids' walls.  Costacos Brothers continued to pump out posters long after the people my generation were forced to take them down from above their beds by the pressures of society (aka their wives and/or girlfriends).

And when you have a track record of posterizing players for thirty plus years, you're bound to have a few swings and misses along the way.  Not every hot prospect turned out to be a big timer.

Thanks to a site called sportsposterswarehouse.com, we happened to stumble upon some of those Costacos Brothers products that inevitably lead to questions as to what the hell their research department was thinking when they selected some of their subjects...

When it comes to pumping out endless hype only to be met by utter disappointment, no position in sports comes close to matching the legacy of the NFL QB.  Specifically those that happen to be drafted in the first round.  A lesson to the young sports fans out there - wait a few years before ponying up for the poster of the new franchise QB.  Trust us.

Cade McNown Bear Force     /  Tim Couch - Top Dawg

mcnown-bearforce couch-topdawg

Joey Harrington - Lion of Fire / Ryan Leaf - Supercharger

harrington-lionoffire leaf-supercharger

Mark Chmura - Chewie

Say you're having a few teenager girls over for a couple of beers and a quick skinny dip in the hot tub and you need to establish a little ambiance.  What better way than to slap up a "Chewie" poster and get the nod of approval from a fellow playboy.

chmura-chewie

Ed O'Bannon - Over Power

Perhaps instead of "Over Power", a better tagline for this Ed O'Bannon poster might have been "Over in Two Seasons".

obannon-overpower

Travis Lee - The Natural

There are simple misjudgements in talent and then there is just spitting in Roy Hobbs' face.

travislee-thenatural

Jeff George - Air Raid Bernie Kosar - Air Raid

If forced to choose between the two posters that garnered the tagline "Air Raid", we're definitely going with the Bernie Kosar vintage over the Jeff George Oakland edition.  Sure the snappy pun is in place for the George edition, but the guy couldn't even bother to get into the pilot's jumpsuit for his photo shoot like Bernie.  That's bush league, George.

george-airraid Poster-Kosar

Dave Nilsson - Thunder

Sometimes posters gone wrong  happen to highlight a player who had the name but just didn't live up to the hype.  Other times they happened to highlight a player that we honestly have never heard of.

davenilsson-thunder

Dan Majerle - Thunder in the Air

Speaking of Thunder, kudos to whoever was responsible for making sure that the Dan Majerle's nuts were 100% airbrushed out of the "Thunder's in the Air" piece.  With shorts like that, we presume it wasn't an easy task.

majerle

No one ever said that spending $10 at Spencer Gifts on a new poster wasn't a calculated risk.

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80's Poster Gallery
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Ernest, December 28, 2009 02:12 PM
The Majerle poster looks like he went up for the dunk, looked to his left and saw his car being towed. Seconds later, he decapitated himself on the rim.
Geeky McNerdbomber, October 30, 2009 02:10 PM
A Wizard is only one type of magic user, or "magician". Other types of magicians include sorcerers, clerics, and paladins.
Kilo, October 30, 2009 08:10 AM
Do you JSF boys have a ban on the use of ampersands or something? Everytime I tried to use it in D and D, it cut off the rest of my comment. Weird,
Kilo, October 30, 2009 08:10 AM
...I never played enough D and D to know the difference between a wizzard and a magician, but I know there is one. Could any gamers out there please help me understand?
Kilo, October 30, 2009 08:10 AM
...I never played enough D
Kilo, October 30, 2009 08:10 AM
Lovin' it boys. I am confused about the Ozzie Smith poster however. He's dressed as a magician, yet he was "The Wizzard" and there's no Dorothy/Toto tie in. I never played enough D
Denny Loadstone, October 29, 2009 03:10 PM
Oh my Jesus...I just spent the last 10 minutes laughing and drying tears because of that Majerle poster and his lack of nuts. God, that's funny. That pose is so awkward, I simply can't find the words...I mean, wtf is he looking at? Well played JB.
Carlos von Bagel, October 29, 2009 01:10 PM
Word. Dave Nillson is the truth. Respect him, and Graham Lloyd, or fear my wrath!
John, October 29, 2009 01:10 PM
Dave Nilsson WAS the Thunder from Down Under, and I will not have his good name sullied!
The Train, October 29, 2009 11:10 AM
I think Nilsson was Australian. That's why the poster says "Thunder From Down Under"
marcus, October 28, 2009 08:10 PM
Nilsson was actually an All star in 1999
Mike G, October 28, 2009 06:10 PM
This makes me wish my old Reggie White "Minister of Defense" poster had him dressed like a priest sacking a QB. Alas, he was in normal uniform
Fresh Jive, October 28, 2009 05:10 PM
Majerle looks just as confused as I feel about him having a life-sized poster of him dunking on some clouds. As noted, at least his boys aren't visible.
wicker24, October 28, 2009 04:10 PM
Steve Atwater would run right through the Christian Okoye poster!!!
Dave, October 28, 2009 02:10 PM
The Christian Okoye poster is the best. Then again, andthing Christian Okoye related is amazing
JB, October 28, 2009 01:10 PM
Joey Harrington "Lion of Fire" just gets me every time I see it.
Ryan, October 28, 2009 01:10 PM
I had the Boz poster and the Majerle poster - what a pathetic loser...
CO Packer Backer, October 28, 2009 01:10 PM
Chmura was proven innocent in a court of law. Besides, did y'all ever SEE a picture of the chick that accused him?!! Let's just say that she looked pretty good steeping in a nice Hot Tub.And, Dave Nilsson was a heck of a good catcher, until a minor injury caused him to have some weird revelation that he should desert the Brewers because he was the ONE person who could build a successful Australian Olympic Baseball Team from the ground up. Nice career move there, Dave!
DiLo, October 28, 2009 01:10 PM
Absolutely awesome...I wish I had that Bernie Kosar poster...I guess I will just have to listen to the Bleacher Bums "Bernie, Bernie" instead...if you don't know, youtube it.
LCG, October 28, 2009 11:10 AM
awesome. as a proud former owner of many costacos bros creations, this was a post that needed to happen. the photographer/choreographer for the thunder dan shoot was hopefully fired.

Pat Patnum

Against family wishes, Putnam gave up baseball to chase his dream of becoming WWF champion. After a successful tryout, he was jobbed out on 23 consecutive episodes of Saturday morning Superstars.

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