St. Louis loves Albert Pujols.  Breaking news, right?

However, in this day and age of creative public expression, it's no longer hip to fork over $300 for a personalized jersey that displays the standard name (Pujols) and number (5) of St. Louis' golden boy.  The "best fans in baseball" (cue: gag noise) like to take it up a notch.  If you're going to pay $300 for a jersey, you might as well use it as a cotton billboard for your creativity, right?

Let's take a look at some of the alternatives seen in St. Louis this season.

PUJOLS, #5 : First and foremost, the old classic.  This gentleman attempted to avoid the typical Pujols affection by rocking a standard jersey shirt with some pinstriped coach shorts and a borderline mullet.  Unfortunately for this guy, this doesn't designate you as unique in St. Louis.



POOHOLES, #5 : Ah yes, you gotta love the "poo holes" joke after all these years.  Just never gets old, does it?  You have to wonder how this shirt makes it by the Busch Stadium ushers, who won't let clothing containing the word "suck" anywhere near civilization.  Yet, somehow, this shirt makes it past the filter.  Weird.



ALBERT, #5 : This one is absolutely baffling.  Frankly, we can't decide what worse; when a grown man has his own first name on a jersey...or when he has the first name of another man of his jersey, like the individual pictured below.  A little creepy.



GENIUS, #5 : This young man stepped outside of the box for one moment of personalized jersey greatness by attempting to capture the essence that is "Albert Pujols" with one word.  Genius.  We're guessing he feels the same way about himself.



PU NASTY, #5 : This man is the beer-slugging, fraternity counterpart to the renaissance man picture above.



PUJOLS, #69 : When in doubt, put your faith in the ole reliable #69.  Some may think the whole #69 thing was only funny for a few weeks when "Beavis and Butthead" beat it to death on MTV.  But those people are wrong.  #69 is still funny.  Just ask this guy.