Typically, we give the ceremonial first bratwurst to someone that we feel deserves some special recognition for one reason or another - maybe an athlete who spoke up about Brett Favre's sleeziness, or a sympathetic coach that needs a lift after getting his ass whipped by the Rams.

Today we offer the first bratwurst as a symbolic gesture of our desire to see something, anything stuffed in this person's mouth so that we don't have to hear anything come out of it.

The calendar reads late October, so that man could only be Fox's Tim McCarver. With the World Series getting underway last night, we got yet another dose of the most uninformative and yet shockingly arrogant analysis that the baseball broadcast world has to offer.

And sure, he's been on the air throughout the playoffs, but when the World Series arrives and we know that we're only going to get McCarver and Buck with no relief for upwards of seven straight games, it really sinks in.

Here's hoping that Tim takes his bratwurst and shoves it in his mouth rendering him speechless for a few precious minutes of air time.



October 23

1925 - Johnny Carson was born. He's not sports, but he is way more entertaining than any modern late night talk show host and for that, we'll be forever grateful. The facial expressions still make us laugh to this day (even though most of what we saw came via video tributes).

1935 - Chi Chi Rodriguez and his dong enter God's fairway.

1958 - The Smurfs debut. Some 25 years later, Papa Smurf and Smurfette make magic and bring to life what would later become a touchdown scoring machine named Maurice Jones-Drew.

1975 - Keith Van Horn is born. Many college basketball fans will remember his heroics for Utah while stricken with the flu; we'll always remember for always looking like he had the flu.



Rays' Maganer, Joe Maddon / Shawshank Redemption warden, Samuel Norton





You should (go to Taco Bell on Tuesday) because (Jason Bartlett) said so. Hard to believe, but that's a true statement. In the bottom of the 5th last night, Jason Bartlett stole 2nd Base and Joe Buck was quick to point out that with that stolen base, baseball fans across America earned a free taco as part of the aptly named "Steal a Base, Steal a Taco" campaign.

Head to your nearest (or furthest) Taco Bell between 2:00 and 6:00 PM Tuesday afternoon for your free taco. Tell 'em Jason Bartlett sent you ... And then listen to the drive-thru attendant ask you who the hell Jason Bartlett is. She will then tell you to get lost or spit in your free taco.



We all know the key to a good headline is getting the snapper out on the web as soon as possible. It affords the web contingent a distinct advantage over those dinosaurs who have to wait for their headlines to be printed, rolled in plastic and thrown on your driveway. The big boys know this, that's why they had their top guns on hand and ready to post, the minute Game 1 of the World Series went final.

They didn't disappoint.

ESPN.com...



FoxSports.com...



SI.com...



Sportsline.com...



People, these guys are the highest paid headline writers in the business for a reason. And that reason is the ability to put together a horrible pun in a little under five minutes.



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