de·noue·ment [dey-noo-mahn] -noun

1. the final resolution of the intricacies of a plot, as of a drama
2. the conclusion; the end
3. the realization that Jared Allen has poop in his hair

Hochuli's Approval Rating reaches record low



This is what happens when you're a well known referee: your blown calls become magnified and more memorable. If Pete Morelli or Mike Carey makes a horrible call, it's just that "referee". When Hochuli does it, it's the "man with the 24 inch pythons".

Monday night Hochuli and his crew failed to penalize Chad Greenway for an obvious facemask on Reggie Bush that led to Bush fumbling the ball away. By "instant replay rules", the facemask play wasn't reviewable. Again I ask, what is the point of instant replay?

In the second quarter, the crew blew the play dead when Adrian Peterson fumbled just before his knee hit the ground. Charles Grant recovered, but the Vikings retained. Ed was apparently watching replays from a different game when he explained that Peterson's knee was down before he lost control, believed to be code for: "I freaking blew another call by calling the play dead before it was really over because I love being in control and love talking to a worldwide national audience."

Say it ain't so, Edward. Say it ain't so.

Allen pulls smelly head out just a bit; still nuzzling cheeks

Prior to taking the field Monday night, Jared Allen spoke to Suzy Kolber (or was it Michelle Tafoya?) about the Vikings' 1-3 start. Sayeth Jared, "I'm thinking we need to pull our heads out of our keysters." I'm pretty sure the Vikings have yet to remove their collective head from their keysters given that the Saints ran up and down the field on punt and kick returns. Pierre Thomas averaged 33 yards every kick return and Reggie Bush ran two punts back for a touchdown. Throw in the fact that Gus Frerotte is the starting quarterback who passed the ball 36 times and you've got some "issues".

Then again, the Saints have Martin Grammatica as their field goal kicker, so we'll call it push between the two MNF teams.

As for Jared Allen, he finished with one tackle and zero sacks. His head is still lodged in his keyster. He has neg-burns too, which will make it all the more obvious where his head has been when you see him on the street one day, head-out-of-keyster.

Someone Really Said This

"God used me today for his glory. Reality is where glory resides. That's all I've got to say."

That someone is Terrell Owens after Sunday's win over the Bengals.

Is that to say God used Marvin Lewis for his disgrace?