JoeSportsFan

joebuckDid you know that Joe Buck had ice dancing ambitions at some point in his spare time? That actually may or may not be true, but he did provide some context for his love of golf outside of work.

"Golf is the only thing I have left. I'm not going to compete in powerlifting with anybody. I'm not going to compete in downhill skiing or ice dancing." - Joe Buck

The key phrase in this statement is "only thing I have left." If you have something by itself because the other things left, that would insinuate you once had them. Do you follow? The questions that need to be asked of Joe Buck are:

1.) Were you able at one point in your life to compete in powerlifting and ice dancing competitions?

2.) Did you at one point in your life compete in powerlifting and/or ice dancing competitions?

Either scenario in Question 2 may well have been more entertaining than Joe Buck Live.

Crap that actually came from somebody's mouth

"I'm the Mark DeRosa of the broadcast team." - Steve Phillips

Only true if DeRosa becomes a horrible General Manager of the Mets and pretend General Manager of the Dodgers, Cubs, Astros, Red Sox and Yankees during an episode of SportsCenter after his playing days pass.
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"I think in the very short term the way the schedule sets up, La Russa could resort to a modified four-man rotation. In the long term, the club could resort to bullpen games." - Bryan Burwell

Nothing screams playoff team like the combination of Brad Thompson, Blake Hawksworth and Jason Motte. Just what a playoff team needs on the backend of their rotation.

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Dear Summer-Vacation-Diary: by Peter King


July 20, Boston. Trip to the urologist. Regular checkup. Two docs. First doc examines me, and I should say he examines me thoroughly. He leaves and the other doc comes in. Very nice fellow, just like the first one. He puts on the rubber glove. Whoa! Whoa! This, uh, already happened! Second urologist wants to check out the situation for himself. Examines me a little more thoroughly. Other than the self-inflicted left-hand bite mark, all's right with the world. Gosh, I love vacation. - Peter King

In all likelihood, you'd think an editor would scoff at the notion of the leading football columnist recapping his summer vacation tales in the main football column. And you'd think including details of a trip to the urologist would be scoffed at, stepped on and lite on fire in the office printer. Not with Peter King. He's been writing about his bowels and urinary tract for close to three years. Peter is hoping to lock a Liberty Mutual sponsorship for each health related paragraph.

Could Peter King be teaming with King Diabeetus for a Liberty Mutual commercial?

diabeetus
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Kilo, July 30, 2009 10:07 AM
Peter King got DP'd!!!!! Wilfred Brimley's bowels are made of oatmeal, with a dash of evil. Joe Buck doesn't have spare time, and his show is great... as long as Artie Lang is on it every week. That was classic.
DFA, July 30, 2009 07:07 AM
So long, nightmare-free sleep. Nice knowing you. The only thing Wilford is lacking is a bowl of oatmeal to complete the horrifying image.HEAD
Joe B., July 30, 2009 05:07 AM
Slama-lamma-ding-DONG!
Fresh Jive, July 29, 2009 05:07 PM
Thanks. We can all learn from this. But seriously, that particular black and white picture of an old man with a Civil War mustache and eyes of blazing fire is in fact evil.
kegler804, July 29, 2009 12:07 PM
Sorry. When I was growing up, my neighborhood didn't have a whole lot of Evil Lords of the Underworld in it, so I suppose my perceptions could be skewed. Rest assured, I'll work on it.
Fresh Jive, July 29, 2009 12:07 PM
Hey man, keep your prejudice to yourself, kegler. The media always portrays black and white pictures of old men with Civil War mustaches and eyes of blazing fire as "pure evil". Open your mind, compadre.
Patrick, July 29, 2009 11:07 AM
Simple Google search of 'wilford brimley liberty mutual'.
kegler804, July 29, 2009 10:07 AM
That picture of Wilford Brimley scared the living shit out of me!!! Where the hell did you find that! That's pure evil right there.

Jimmy Sexton

After word leaked about his one night fling with the teenage daughter of the A's batting practice pitcher, Jimmy Sexton figured it was wise to wear two helmets into the cage for extra protection.

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